Happy 2014! I don’t know about you but I’m feeling pretty good about this year. It’s sunny and gorgeous here in Santa Barbara so that may have something to do with my optimism for the year ahead. If you’ve been reading for awhile you may remember that I like to start each year with a theme. I like the idea of a theme because it sticks with you as the year progresses. It’s usually a word or short phrase so it is easy to remember. 2013 was “playfulness” and because I picked a word that was really popular in my house I was reminded often of my theme. I have to say, I’m really glad I picked that theme because it made me find things that I really liked to do with my children. It made me think about what I liked to do when I was kid. It also made me think about what play is for me now. The year was filled with arts and crafts, snow days, beach days, park days. I had my grown up play too and plenty of it. I found gaps, where I’d forgotten things that I really liked to do and I brought them back. I also opened up to being dorky and silly and embarrassing myself, which is actually really good for me. So all and all I loved that theme and will revisit it again this year when I find myself getting too serious or uptight.
It’s a new year and time for a new theme. This one is a little heavier, a little harder to explain, and very obviously the next step in my personal evolution. So as much as I’d like to say “organization” is my theme for the year, since I’ve got a lot to do in that department as well, I’m actually going to go deeper and do the the work that really needs to be done. I’ve noticed in myself for a long time a barrier that appears when I don’t get what I want, when my kids get out of control, when I get my feelings hurt, when I feel threatened, when I’m vulnerable. The barrier is anger and it’s been part of me for as long as I can remember. I actually thought we all had the same feelings and reactions and that I was quite normal but doing this work for so many years has clued me into the fact that there is another way to be that is much kinder to the self and to those around us. It doesn’t mean you let people hurt you or you let your kids run wild or you don’t speak your truth, but it means you do so with out shutting down or lashing out. It’s painful to self-protect in that way, and it’s a way to try to control that doesn’t serve anybody. I also think what’s happening is that in those moments I’m cutting myself off from love. So instead of erecting a barrier or forcing my will upon others, my theme is “allowing”. To me that means when I feel my chest tighten, and my fists clench, and my jaw begin to set in that way it does when I’m angry, I’ll breathe, allow the moment to pass, and then choose my response. This is going to take some serious brain rewiring on my part, but all change begins with awareness and intention and a vision of where you are going. I see that compassion is our true nature, and anger is a learned behavior that it is time for me to unlearn.
Let me know what your theme is, the themes that came in last year were so much fun. I loved reading what they were and why you picked them. Have fun with it. Cheers to 2014!
Vision360: If you haven’t signed up yet, Vision360 is just 3 short weeks away. I know, crazy, right? Creating a Vision is a powerful process, it allows you to make a map, it reveals what’s next, and it inspires you to take action. We aren’t just spending 4 days with you, but we are sticking with you for all of 2014 with a monthly call, because we know better than anybody – accountability is necessary and it works.
Accountability Works: I’ve also gotten notes from you Accountability Works folks missing your weekly calls. I’ve got some surprises coming online for you in 2014, just you wait. But for now, get enrolled for the next session. It starts next week, and I’m as excited as all of you to get started again.