Last week I shared the Dream Big Guide to help you write a Vision for your future. If you haven’t done it yet – a lazy Sunday morning is the perfect time! If you have, than I wanted to share what I’ve learned about doing this work for a long time.
A Vision, a big dream, or goal brings up Resistance (yes, with a capital R!). That’s a good thing and here’s why.
Our big dreams contain the lesson plan for our growth. We dream of exactly the things that will serve and stretch us in the ways that we want. If you are dreaming of finding a life partner than you are longing to grow in the area of relationships. If you are dreaming about financial abundance that’s because there are lessons around money that you haven’t gotten yet. If you are dreaming about leading a large organization that is because your inner leader is ready to shine.
Just so that we are clear that lesson plan always includes overcoming resistance. Even though you want a life partner, financial abundance, or to become a leader – you will RESIST making the necessary changes or taking the right steps.
You will put off putting your dating profile online. It will look like it is because your computer is acting up and you can’t find that perfect picture which you swear was in your Dropbox folder. It will look like technology got in your way.
You will put off sending your newsletter with your new offering or getting your website up with your product line because your car broke down and the dog has a mysterious illness and has to go to the vet. It will look like life got in your way.
You’ll come down with the flu before your big interview even though you’ve been exercising and drinking your green juice every morning. It will look like sickness got in your way.
When resistance comes up, it almost always looks like something else. It usually makes a really good story. All your friends will sympathize with you and relate to you.
However, the people that get where they wanted to go didn’t have some magically easier path than you. In fact, a lot of them have navigated struggles neither you or I can begin to relate to.
Just know that your resistance is as intrinsic to you as your dreams. For you it’s going to be the things that usually get in your way and few more you aren’t prepared for. It’s going to look like your family, it’s going to look like your clients, it’s going to look like illness, the weather, the government, you name it. It will have a different face for every person but it’s your resistance.
Knowing that resistance is part of the equation. Period. Is your first step to overcoming it. It’s when you call it something else that you are in danger of letting it derail you. Once you name your resistance you can begin to take back your power.
You can say, “My computer is not working. I can’t find the perfect picture even though it was there a few days ago. I’m totally having resistance to doing this. Why? Well, this is really scary for me, I’m super uncomfortable putting myself online. What if no one wants to date me? What if this is all just a big waste of time? What if I fall for someone and get my heart broken again. Am I willing to take that risk? Yes, I am. I don’t want to be alone anymore and I’m going to trust that the right person is out there for me. Now let’s see how can I get this profile up? I’m going to call my tech savvy friend, she’ll be happy to help me.”
Steven Pressfield, author of the War of Art, says, “The bigger the dream, the bigger the resistance.” I absolutely agree.
Knowledge is power. So be ready for it. Name it when it shows up. Accept that it’s supposed to be there. Let it be your teacher. Learn from it and keep going for your dream. You’ve got this.