Outside the Algorithm

It’s coming up more and more often on our coaching calls. Commitments around screens and especially social media, have been common but even more so now. It starts with deleting apps (social, news, dating, etc.), then setting limits around certain apps i.e. limit social media to 30min 6 days a week. Bedtime scrolling is particularly insidious. The common thing we hear is that people want to read, watch TV, or relax before bed. What do they do more often than not? Scroll. Even though it’s clear it impacts time asleep, quality of sleep, and feelings of wellbeing.

Even if you delete apps and set limits, the mindless scrolling can still happen. You can still access everything through a browser. Which means if you want to be distracted, you can be.

And people want to be on their phones sometimes, just not as much as they are. They want to look at social media and many need to be for their professions. Often it’s the amount of time or what they get served, which holds them there but doesn’t make them feel good about themselves or how they’ve spent their time. In other words, the algorithms work, and work really well at making you feel worse. 

In terms of accountability coaching, this is an issue that comes up on our calls because our clients come to us to make sure that they are focused on what matters most. When you feel overwhelmed because you have so much going on and not enough time to get it all done, one easy place you can look to get your time back is screens. When you are feeling extra stressed and aren’t sleeping well, one thing you can point to that’s not helping is your time on screens. And when your nervous system feels fried and you are trying to balance that burst in new business with grounding practices, nowhere in there does the 4-6 hours you are spending on your phone (for work, but not really) make sense. 

So it’s really consequential when you are talking about putting your finite energy and time towards what matters most to you. Doing the needle moving activities. Expressing and working in your zones of genius. So when I’m coaching someone that wants their time back, here are some of the strategies we employ:

Strategy 1: Make it Less Enticing 

• Turn your phone to grayscale. Just the lack of color makes it less appealing. 
• Switch your home screen to text-only with an app like Dumb Phone or Dumbify 
• Keep it in another room while you watch TV or eat a meal 
• Keep it face down or in a drawer while you work. 

Strategy 2: Make it Less Intrusive 

• Remove notifications. I did this a long time ago but I kept text notifications. During that time texting in general and group texts especially have become the new email. My new strategy is to make a custom focus mode so I can still get texts during the workday from my kids but the rest are silenced until I physically look. 
• Use a free app like Foqos – endorsed by the dumbphone reddit community 
• Use a device like Brick to turn all your notifications and interruptions off while you do certain activities 

Strategy 3: Replace the scrolling habit with high quality leisure activity 

I’m a big fan of asking what do you want to do instead and having clients commit to that activity rather than what they don’t want to do. The most common answers? Reading, exercise, and meditation.

I recently came across a great episode of Deep Questions with Cal Newport (How Do I Kick My Scrolling Habit?) where he proposes having a high quality leisure toolkit. That means things you want to do instead of scrolling on your phone. What I like about the podcast is that he breaks high quality leisure into different categories so there is likely something for everyone. 

• Reading: A good book, article, magazine long form even if it’s on a screen in this case beats scrolling 
• Watching: A high quality show, movie or documentary 
• Skill-based Hobbies: One of our clients is taking a painting class, another one is taking a writing class. I love these because you get the added benefit of creativity!
• Engage with the Physical: Movement. Walks without a screen (this is one of my personal favorites and something I often recommend) 
• Community: Making an effort to get together with other people, you enjoy spending time with, regularly 
• Adventure: Seeking out new things to do

It does take effort to break the cycle of scrolling and screens. Even if you want to put your phone away, it seems every website wants to text you a code. New users (I’m talking Gen Alpha) are begging for Instagram (everyone has it!) while Gen Z is taking up Mahjong because they are so in need of human connection. It’s the natural outcome of something that doesn’t make you feel good. What does feel good? More and more time outside the algorithm.