Embodying Accountability

Marissa often says that accountability is an act of radical self-love. Doing what you say you are going to do takes nerve, it ruffles feathers (your own and sometimes others).

When we work for someone else, accountability can mean doing what someone else wants you to do. And the boss will lament, why aren’t they more accountable, why don’t they do what I tell them to do? Understandable, you are being paid to do a job. 

But when you work for yourself, which so many of our clients do, the question is a little deeper. Why aren’t you doing what you say you want to do? 

Embodying Accountability Means Feeling Discomfort

Embodying accountability means feeling things you don’t want to feel. Why are you numbing out on overwork, or food, or screens? You say that’s not what you want, we hold you accountable for not doing that, and lo and behold you have to face the feelings you are avoiding – loneliness, confusion, sadness. 

You say you want to grow your business, you can see it, you can imagine how it will work, and you are so excited about it. Then you do the work you know will grow it and you have to have uncomfortable conversations with people who are relying on you for direction, you have to lead in ways you haven’t had to before, you are taking on more responsibility and that is nerve wracking and suddenly your ego is blaring warning lights of we don’t like this change, this is hard and scary. 

You say you want to be healthier, you want to have more energy, be more vital, drop a few pounds, tighten things up but then your partner wants to grab a beer and burger, or your friends want to go out and get drinks and you aren’t sure how to navigate your goals with your relationships and it feels so uncomfortable not to participate so you decide to recommit on Monday because this is your one life and your relationships are the most important thing. 

Embodying accountability is an act of radical self-love. It’s recognizing that you are worth the discomfort of change, that the person you are becoming, the life you want to live, the way you want to feel, all deserve the hard work of getting there. It means sitting with uncomfortable feelings not because you have to, but because you believe in yourself enough to see it through. It is, at its core, choosing yourself again and again, even when it’s difficult. 

Alignment Reveals What Needs Attention

And you know what will happen? More will be revealed. You will see other areas of your life where you are not in alignment. Doing the work in one area – career, health, relationships, finances – whatever it might be makes it easier to see the misalignment in other areas. Fortunately, the strength you build in any one area you can translate to alignment in other areas.

So as you start to feel the discomfort of newfound alignment, we encourage you to lean into self-compassion and kindness. This is not a time to force your way through, it is a time to allow. What comes up is here for you to learn from and grow, you have created this path for yourself with good reason.

Remember, your compass is always pointing you in the right direction. 

Veering off track or turning back won’t change where you want to go, so stay the course, the same feelings will be waiting for you, might as well work through them now.