We have several clients this year that are working on becoming better listeners. This is a hard one to quantify so I shared how a past client had approached it. She decided to give herself a listening score. She created a scale from 1-5 and then tracked how she did at the end of each day. 

This approach is one way to quantify something that a lot of us would like to get better at but don’t know how to go about it. Now in this case, the score is subjective, because you have to rate yourself. However, the genius in it is not the score itself but the awareness that the score generates. 

If you are giving yourself a score at the end of the day, or in the morning as part of your journaling practice, you are going to think back on the previous day and your interactions and wonder, how did I do at listening? Replaying in your mind when you interrupted and when you stayed quiet even when you had something to say. 

As you get used to the practice you are going to go into interactions with more awareness. Shoot, I just interrupted. Or gosh, I’m not really listening because I’m trying to solve the problem in my head or waiting to tell my own story. That awareness is gold. 

The best book I’ve ever read on listening is Chris Voss’ book Never Split the Difference. It was so impactful, I spent a whole quarter reviewing the lessons on listening with our coaches. However, we never went back and rated ourselves on our listening. Were we getting better as the weeks progressed? 

If I were to take it a step further, I would review at the end of the week, month, or quarter, how becoming a better listener was impacting my work and my relationships. I’d be curious of what I was learning in that process that I didn’t expect or that surprised me. 

In times like these, listening well to each other matters more than ever.